Admitting to or facing other feelings might be harder. For such people, anger feels more socially acceptable, and they feel safer with it. "Something that helped me once was to hear that anger is a secondary emotion - that is, for many people, it feels safer to be angry than to feel whatever unbearable state it is they are really feeling, perhaps being powerless, humiliated, ashamed, rejected, inadequate, or insignificant. Here is a portion of one of these messages that really hit me as being true and helpful to remember when we are at the receiving end of a person's anger: I was moved and inspired to receive a few hundred messages from people who had wonderful insight to share. In a nutshell, the strategy is to shift our focus to things we wish to be forgiven for. These destructive reactions can impact our work and relationships and also trigger defensiveness or anger in others, potentially leading to a confrontation or violence.Last week, I shared a strategy for overcoming emotional wounds and being able to authentically forgive someone who we feel has wronged us. This type of anger expression negatively impacts our physical health by raising our blood pressure and releasing stress hormones. Destructive Angerĭestructive anger is usually spontaneous and expressed outwardly, like lashing out at others or storming out of a room. Constructive anger almost always involves pausing, calming down, processing, and coming up with a plan. Constructive anger can mean having a courageous conversation with someone, or could be a response to a bigger issue and involve taking action to make systemic change. Put simply, constructive anger happens when we can manage our emotions and channel our anger into actions that improve the situation, or prevent the event or actions that caused the anger from happening again. While the response can often be physical retaliation, it can also be calling someone out, or seeking to change a system or process to fix the wrong or prevent future wrongs. It originates from the “fight” component of our “fight, flight or freeze” instinct. While we can’t always control when and how feelings of anger are triggered, we can control how we react to those feelings.Īnger can be classified as constructive or destructive. When it’s not a symptom of something else, it’s important to work on not letting the anger take over. Excessive anger can also be a symptom of a larger mental health challenge, so if efforts to manage it aren’t working, it’s a good idea to consult a mental health specialist. It takes a lot of energy to be angry and when it happens a lot, it can compromise our ability to function healthfully or to be present with people we care about. For many people, anger results from pent up frustrations, feeling wronged in some way, losing or not having control in situations that matter to us, or witnessing injustice, especially when it affects people we know or care about.Įven though anger is normal, there’s cause for concern when we’re feeling angry a lot and/or when our expression of anger is interfering with our work, relationships, or peace of mind. Anger is a basic human emotion that signals a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility and can range from mild irritation to extreme rage. We all experience and express anger from time to time.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |